


Universe

by KB0821



Category: SNH48
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Second Chances, TEAM SII, Useless zoo gang, snh48 - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:34:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28664010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KB0821/pseuds/KB0821
Summary: One look at her and Liu Qianqian could feel her entire universe had shifted.Or is five years enough for a second chance?
Relationships: Liu Qianqian/ Ning Ke
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This cp had my heart for 2020 and until now. This is an attempt of a sort of happy ending for the future. Thanks for reading! hehe

One look at her and Liu Qianqian felt like her entire universe had shifted.

One look at Ning Ke and it was enough for her to drift back to the past, back when she still introduced herself as GNZ48/ SNH48 Team SII Liu Qianqian. Back to those days of gongyans, late night dinners and practices, laughing and crying with the girls, to a place where she will always keep dear in her heart.

Nowadays, she’s just Liu Qianqian. Artist. Photographer. Creative director of her own studio and now the proud owner of her first gallery.

But it’s not just her who changed because Ning Ke changed too…

Ning Ke doesn’t look like the ruggedly handsome rookie with a roguish gaze. She doesn’t look like an unsure kid who has emotional outbursts. She’s far from the frightened kid who wonders if she’s good enough to be part of the legendary team SII.

Now, look at her.

She looks like a heartbreak waiting to happen. Her dark hair is now cascading pass her shoulders, her jawline sharper than she remembered, her body more chiseled. She looks absolutely dashing in dark, skinny jeans and a dark jacket over button-down polo. A far cry from her houbei days where she dressed like she just rolled out of bed.

Liu Qianqian had to shake her head, imagining how many hearts her favorite junior might have unintentionally broke. Yet, she couldn’t resist that playful lilt in her smile, her baobei has grown up now.

Now Ning Ke has that proud stance as she gazes intensely at one of her photographs. Liu Qianqian wished she could take a picture of this, and then magically show it to the 21-year-old Ning Ke just to let her know how breathtaking she is going to be.

She wishes she could tell the 21-year-old Ning Ke, that in five years, she, You Miao, and Wang Qiuru will someday run Team SII as the formidable Ace qianbeis. Her houbei who was unsure how to navigate through the river, is now one of the team leaders. 

She wishes that she could tell the 21 year old Ning Ke that she’ll climb her way up in the ranks, a fixture in the top 16 and now from the looks of it, a future Kami7 in this coming election.

She wishes she could tell the 21 year old Ning Ke that the calls for her in gongyan is deafeningly loud, bordering on harassment from her laopo fans.

She wishes she could tell the 21 year old Ning Ke that the younger river girls do covers of the love songs she composed, and how Keke qianbei is becoming everyone’s ideal type, talented and gorgeous and kind.

She wishes she could tell the 21-year-old Ning Ke that it’s impossible to watch her dance videos in bilibili with all the thirsty floating comments from her fans.

But what’s the fun in all of that, right?

Although she created her base in Shanghai, she had been jetting all over the country and some parts of Asia establishing her brand in creative design. She cherished her time as an idol, but it was hard to shed off that image, people constantly assuming that she’s just another pretty face who somehow got in touch with her artistic soul. It took her almost two years, to command that respect and clientele but it was the best two years of her life because she was doing what she had always dreamed of.

The gallery is something she did for herself. It has been a long time coming, a fever pitch back in her idol days where she wished to display her works. Critics are calling her the one to watch out for, but she had never really cared for stranger’s opinions, but instead, it was the proud smiles of her family and friends that made her heart flutter.

Some of the former SII girls came to the gallery opening a week ago. As much as she loved the mini reunion, it stung a bit not to see Ning Ke. She apologized that she couldn’t make it because of some last minute schedule, but she promised to go before the gallery ended. Liu Qianqian is glad for her friends because as soon as the “remember when” conversations began, it kept her thoughts of Ning Ke at bay.

They still kept in touch, if she could call occasional message in the groupchat, keeping in touch. Liu Qianqian sees Ning Ke more on Weibo posts and bilibili thirst videos from her horde of now laopo fans. And this message, where she said she can’t make it, is the first one she sent in over a few years.  
Even if things between them didn’t work back then, it doesn’t mean that she loves- loved- her any less. There’s nothing she would want to see than her grow up to be this amazing person she always knew Ning Ke would be.

But most of all, it’s going to be for her. What they have was an unfinished story, although they pretty much “ended” it before anything can even begin, there is always that part of her that keeps rereading the pages, seeing Ning Ke might finally be the drive that could push her to write those two words, “the end” and slam the book shut.

Wenwen once sent her a clip from the new team SII gongyan a few months ago with a message saying awwwww… look at our puppy getting all the houbeis now.

She muscled her way into forty seconds of that MC segment before turning it off. She ended up cussing for letting herself feel that way. She remembered getting teased before for her possessive side, and she couldn’t understand how even after all this time, she could trigger it just as quick just because some houbeis are getting a little too handsy on her.

Ning Ke was just a crush that she had thought would have fizzled out but never really did. It’s superficial to say that she first noticed how handsome Ning Ke is, for her the most handsome among the five. So, when she had the chance to pick someone, it wasn’t even a choice, she knew who she wanted.

With Liu Lifei, her forever white moonlight, she learned that love is soft and gradual but with Ning Ke, she fell a little too hard and a little too fast. When it’s just the two of them, the junior treats her like she’s the most precious thing in the world and looks at her with stars in her eyes, like she became her whole universe. Every time she’s with Ning Ke she would wish for time to just stop.

She had no intentions for things to go that way. It was only supposed to be something fun, Ning Ke and her aloofness makes her fun to mess around with.

But she wonders why the rookie had the power to infuriate her. Not on purpose, Ning Ke is too pure to hurt anyone intentionally. Ning Ke does these little things that Liu Qianqian could ignore with others, but with her it just somehow sparks this childish and petty side that she didn’t even know existed. Sometimes, she feels like a babysitter, chiding on the rookie for not eating, not sleeping, and sometimes for just not thinking before she acts.

But just like anything, when people rush things, it cracks just as quickly. Because they argue over the simplest things. At the same time, make up almost as quickly, promising it would be better next time.

But like a cycle that they both can’t get away from, they would get into another meaningless argument.

After another exhausting one, with Ning Ke asking again in sheer frustration, “What did I do?” Liu Qianqian realized that maybe, just maybe, she was being selfish.

Being in love wasn’t the issue, it’s just the two of them have different definitions of it. She’s older, she knows what she wants and knows what she expects while Ning Ke is young and she’s so hardworking and so talented, but at the same time, still has to learn things about herself and about being with someone. It could get frustrating or worse just painful when she feels like she’s putting 100 percent into what they have and Ning Ke gives about half.

They fight, they go into cold wars, they miss each other too much and make up, they’re sweet again, they stumble, then fight again. Until the last one about something Liu Qianqian can’t even remember, once again, Ning Ke not knowing what she did wrong and Liu Qianqian realized that it’s not just Ning Ke, she’s in the wrong too for expecting too much and getting upset when Ning Ke can’t rise to the occasion. 

And Liu Qianqian had to swallow a bitter pill and admitted to herself that this wasn’t going to work. Not right now anyway.

That night, Ning Ke goes to her room, kneeled next to her bed, and asked over and over again, “Tell me what I need to do.”

Liu Qianqian just stilled her heart and expression just said, “Nothing.”

Being the qianbei, older and buoying on the river for years, knew exactly what it is.

The rookie doesn’t need her to be her lover, what Ning Ke needs is a qianbei when Siba throws shit at her and a jiejie when life throws unexpected wrenches on her path.

So, she had a choice. She could take a step back, let Ning Ke find another qianbei to take care of her and she, Liu Qianqian can do what she does best and just move on. Or she could stay at the same spot and still love her, but this time, love her in a way that Ning Ke needs her to.

She decided to let go.

She thanked her useless zoo gang and the rest of the team who are like sisters for at least, giving them time and space to mend back a friendship. Even Jungu and Xiaopeng as much as ship them took a step back.

It took maybe two months of being just acquaintances again until she slowly eases Ning Ke back in. And she didn’t know whether to be relieved or hurt how Ning Ke easily falls back to being her houbei.

Some days she just listens as Ning Ke let her frustrations out, and some days there are no right words to say. Her Junior looks exhausted, barely getting any sleep and she’ll just fall into her, her head on her lap as she runs her fingers through her hair and before she knows it, Ning Ke’s sound asleep.

As Liu Qianqian looks at her now, all grown up, she could only wonder who holds her now,

She shakes all those thoughts away, when a boisterous voice yells out, “Wohoo! We have a useless zoo gang mini reunion here. I’ll call Wenwen when we get to dinner,” Xiao ma announces wrapping her arms around them.

Ning Ke looks at her and she wished that she could take a photo of this. But this one she wants to keep for herself, so she could remember the way Ning Ke looks at her. The way her dark eyes shines, her lips parted like she just stole her breath away and she just looks at her, just like she did back then, like she is her entire universe.

She gives her that soft, endearing smile from houbei days, a much different one from the seductive half smirk on her Laogong photos now.

“Keke… the bouquet,” Xiaoma said, doing a terrible job of being discreet.

“Oh ummm… oh yeah. This is for you,” She hands an exquisite bouquet of red roses.

It’s real this time. She wanted to tease as she reminisces back when Ning Ke sent her a rose wall emoji in her pocket but bite back before she let it slip.

“It’s real this time.” Ning Ke says, her voice barely louder than a whisper.

“Thanks. I see Xiaoma is still teaching you well.”

“I’m still a Zhinan after all. I need all the help I can get,” She smiles. “Congratulations.”

“No, thank you. It’s an honor to have SNH48 Team SII Co captain Ning Ke in this humble gallery of mine.”

Ning Ke answers her with a roll of those gorgeous dark eyes.

“Did you get to see all of it?”

“Well, not yet. You’re going to show me, right?”

“Well, actually, since I’m the owner, I’m a little busy. But I’ll have one of my associates-“

“Aiya, qianbei.” Ning Ke finally said something,

The gallery owner finds herself trying to hide a smile, satisfied than even just a little she still have a bit of hold on her.

“Fine. You got ten minutes.”

*

One of the glorious things about Shanghai is there’s always a new place to discover, it could be an eclectic music shop tucked in between a bookshop and an antique store or it could be in those towers overlooking the Shanghai skyline.

But tonight, they opted for something more familiar. Not Haidilao though. This Thai restaurant that is still standing even after all these years, a place they went before and promise to return but never did. For Liu Qianqian, it felt like it was just her and Xiaoma in there, Ning Ke is in a whole different universe, barely said a word, eyes constantly glancing at her phone. When her phone rang, she was quick to pick it up, almost bolting out of her chair.

Liu Qianqian waited until Ning Ke is out of earshot before she let out her frustration. “It’s like she doesn’t want to be here.”

She knew it wasn’t fair to put Xiao Ma in the middle, but she also knew that she kept this in, that it would only make it worse.

Xiaoma winced at those words, shaking her head. “What? No… give my bro a break. She’s just nervous.”

“About what?”

“About seeing you again.”

She answers her with a scoff, “Well. She sure has a shitty way of showing it.”

*

For whatever reason, Xiao Ma thinks it’s a brilliant idea to leave early and ditch them both. She was ready to call it a night too, just sit on her porch, take out some beer and just forget that tonight happened. But Ning Ke still as frustrating as she was, insisted on walking her back to her place. Not like it’s any consolation, they hardly said any word in the didi.  
She should have let her mind made the decision for her. Her head telling her to bid Ning Ke good night, close the door shut and end this chapter forever, but her heart wanted something else, for one more chance.

They were standing by her door, her hand in the doorknob, when she heard the younger girl say,

“Qianqian…”

She could barely hear Ning Ke, her tone shaky and her word sounded more like a plea, before Ning Ke took a hesitant step forward and wrap her in an embrace.

Being back in her arms felt like being teleported back in time. Back to days of sleepovers, when Ning Ke sleeps like she’s putting her on a chokehold. In her embrace, Ning Ke is her most beloved houbei again and she the qianbei that cares for her the most. Yet, at the same time, it felt different, the way Ning Ke held on to her, like she had no plans of ever letting go.

“Ning Ke…”

She could pull away, tell her good night. But Liu Qianqian pleads with herself to just let her have this, even if it’s just for a few moments. To let her have Ning Ke.

Ning Ke was the one who pulled away first, while she held on to the warmth, her fingers clutching on Ning Ke’s jacket.

“I- I had so many things to say,” Ning Ke says in a shaky breath. “but I don’t know… seeing you again. I… I forgot them all. Tonight, I don’t know what to say.”

“Maybe it’s good to just let things go.” Liu Qianqian could hear her voice quiver, no matter how steady she tried it to be.

Ning Ke looks up at her with a look of defeat, eyes glazing with tears and Liu Qianqian tries to hold her gaze but faltered and looked away.

Ning Ke turned to look at her and cupped her face. “But there’s no getting over you, Liu Qianqian.”

For someone who is known for her quick wit, even she has no idea what to say to Ning Ke at that time. She could just tell her go, forget about this but then she’ll just be lying to herself. So, she pulls the younger girl closer and Ning Ke faltered just as quick, burying her face in the crook of her shoulder.

“I don’t know what to say. Five years and I’m finally holding you again.”

Liu Qianqian felt her knees tremble as she hears Ning Ke’s confession, she tugs on tightly to Ning Ke’s jackets, pressing their foreheads together.

“C’mon, you want to come in?”

*

“Oh Wow. This place is so…”

“So what?” Liu Qianqian places her keycard on the desk, smiling in anticipation as she looks at Ning Ke taking in her studio apartment in awe. It was the same look that she had when she first saw the place and just fell head over heels with it, Wenwen was teasing her why she picked an old fashion building, but all she could see the possibilities of her new own place. It’s a good home while she saves to build her own house someday.

“It’s so Liu Qianqian.”

Liu Qianqian rolls her eyes, “So articulate.”

“No. I don’t think there’s a better way to describe it. Like the moment you step inside, you know exactly who lives here. It’s so you and it’s pretty great.”

“Here.” She hands her a cup while finding the spot next to her on her plush couch.

“Thanks.” Ning Ke says softly, smiling as she takes a sip of the tea.

Her TV is off, but both their gazes are fixated on it like they’re watching something captivating. 

Ning Ke’s gaze fell on her throw pillow, playing with the loose thread, anything to avoid her eyes. “Ummm… your gallery is really amazing.”

“Thanks. I was gonna say you were staring too long at that photo. You look at it, you buy it.”

“I’m so sorry, qianbei.” The team SII co captain apologizes with a waist breaking bow. “I’m just a broke idol from the River. I would have to do 1,000 gongyans to afford something from Liu Qianqian’s gallery.”

She did a terrible job hiding her surprise as she let out a laugh. Where was her cute, dumbass houbei who turns into a whipped puppy when she messes with her? And who is this confident flirt?

“We can do installment plans with interests.”

“You’re really going to make me pay, huh?”

“You’re in the top 16, that means you’re rolling around in money.”

“No. I’m not.”

“And next elections, you might be in Kami7, so I’m raising the interest rate to 75 percent.”

“I can’t believe this.”

“What? I can’t just be giving out my works, I need to eat, Ning Ke.” She was smiling now too, the little banter enough to wipe away the memories of that night.

“Well…”

“Well what?”

“I ummm… If you let me, I can feed you.”

She looked into those chocolate brown eyes, hopeful and yearning. 

“Feed me? I thought you’re broke.”

“I am… so maybe just boiled eggs and soybean milk, okay?” The idol earns herself a quick shove.

“And when you get into Kami7?”

“When I get into Kami7, you can have three boiled eggs and a large soybean milk.”

“I’m so spoiled.”

They exchange a soft laugh, a softer smile on both their lips as their eyes both fell on their cups.

“So, how are you, Ning Ke?”

“Hmmm.” She forces a smile. An exhausted one. “I’m okay. Busy but okay.”

“Okay? You look beat up for someone who seems to be okay.”

She doesn’t know what came up to her to move closer to place her hand on Ning Ke’s cheek. It was a split second too late when she realized that Ning Ke might tense up from the contact, but to her surprise, Ning Ke didn’t even move. Instead, she tenderly leans against her palm as if finding her solace in her touch.

“You feel and look skinnier.” Liu Qianqian says in between her racing heart. “Are you back to your one meal milk tea and cake diet?”

Ning Ke just shook her head, her cheek still pressed against her hand like she’s seconds away from falling asleep.

“Come here.” The older girl tugs her junior closer to her, and it was like Ning Ke was feather light as she falters quickly to her embrace, their bodies fitting perfectly in each other’s arms, just like it always did.

“You still have four more years to go in the river, Ning Ke.” Liu Qianqian whispers, holding Ning Ke closer. “You need to take care of yourself.”

“I am. Maybe I’m just a little tired.” She softly confesses, her voice muffled in her shoulders. Before she lays her head on her lap, Liu Qianqian running her fingers through those dark locks, while Ning Ke takes her other hand and wraps it around her.

She stays in touch with You Miao, with Liu Qianqian, the now SII captain finds relief of just being a meimei instead of the SII captain that she is now burdened with whenever they talk. You Miao says that despite Ning Ke’s calm and collected demeanor on stage, behind it, she could barely stand. Physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted as she carries the team on her back.

Though it’s her and You Miao taking on the leadership role, You Miao more a leader as a whole while Ning Ke takes every teammate and would carry them in her shoulders if she has to. Their problems become her problems too. When things go beyond their control, Ning Ke still takes it to heart.

The two captain butt heads on this one, You Miao more on letting their members grow and learn from their mistakes, while Ning Ke believes that it’s their role as leaders to guide them.

“Liu Qianqian.”

“Hmmm?”

She hums, not wanting to break their little world, not when everything feels so right again. She just smiles, looking contently as Ning Ke rubs lazy circles on her hand.

“I know how to take off makeup off someone now.”

Liu Qianqian answers her precious junior with a shove. The room lights up with their soft laughter before it brought it in a comfortable sense of silence.

Liu Qianqian smiles at the memory, while her fingers continue to run through Ning Ke’s dark locks.

“Sometimes, I do wonder if the pressure won’t be as bad if we weren’t leading Team SII, but then I look back at it, if I didn’t become part of team SII, I wouldn’t had the chance to be part of our team, I wouldn’t be part of the useless zoo gang, I wouldn’t have met you. And that’s a life I wouldn’t even dare think about.”

“We barely talk since I graduated.” She said, a bit of disdain in her voice.

“I know. I should’ve done better. I just felt that I’m not ready.”

“Of what?”

“To see you.”

That admission almost ripped Liu Qianqian’s heart out of her chest, she’s ready to pull away her hand, maybe even push Ning Ke off the couch but instead, Ning Ke held it tighter, brushing her lips against her tiny fingers.

“They’re projecting that I might make it to Kami7 this year. I wanted to wait until then, but Xiaoma said you’ll probably won’t ever speak to me again if I waited that long and miss your gallery.”

“Damn right. Xiaoma is still the smart one I see.”

Ning Ke chuckles, their fingers still intertwined, “I just want you to be proud of me. Of what I had become. I’m not a rookie anymore, I’m a qianbei now.”

“That didn’t matter to me then and it doesn’t matter to me now. Ning Ke, I had always been…” But she stops, when she hears the soft breaths and when she looks, Ning Ke is fast asleep on her lap. She smiles tenderly as that moment she felt like she’s back in the corner of the practice room again, with her back against the mirror and a young Ning Ke asleep on her lap. It wasn’t the most comfortable position and they always end up with aches in the morning. But it didn’t matter, for her, for them it was the best place on Earth.

She leans closer, gingerly brushing away the hair from Ning Ke’s face before pressing her lips softly on her temple.

“I had always been proud of you. Always.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A happy ending. Thank you for reading!

One night with her and Liu Qianqian felt like her entire universe had shifted once again.

She really thought it would be over, that maybe seeing Ning Ke and finally knowing how she is would be the “the end” that she felt they both needed in their story.

But after she made Ning Ke fried eggs and toast for breakfast, they spend the entire time, laughing and talking on her kitchen island, like those five years had never happened. When Ning Ke insisted on washing the dishes she just leaned against her kitchen counter, her tea getting cold as she was more preoccupied with watching Ning Ke doing something so simple. Everything about it just felt right, and all that she could think of was she could get used to this.

When she reached her gallery, she told her staff that she’ll be busy with paper works and only call for her when it’s absolutely necessary.

Her phone vibrated on the table, a message from the culprit.

Ning Ke  
Hey. Did you eat?

Her phone almost fell to the floor yet luckily, it stops inches away from the edge of her table. She let out a loud enough scoff that she even startled herself. Who does Ning Ke think she is? Just because they had a sweet night and a sweet breakfast, and she washed her dishes, doesn’t mean they’re anything but friends now.

“You are five years too late, Ning Ke but fine you get a text,” She huffs again before sending out a text.

Liu Qianqian  
No

An hour. It’s been an hour and Ning Ke wherever she is didn’t even bother to reply. It shouldn’t have bothered her anymore, old habits die hard, and Ning Ke and her exasperating habit of not replying still stand even after five years. She just shuts her eyes and takes deep meaningful breaths that turns into soft growls.

“Hey boss?”

One of her employees sheepishly ducks her head inside her office. Liu Qianqian quickly wipes away her frown, showing a more professional sullen expression.

“Oh yes?”

“I’m sorry. I know you said don’t bother unless necessary, but you got food delivery.”

“I do?” Her perfect brow quirked in confusion. “I didn’t order any-“

But her employee already stepped to the side, but not before admiring the view of this Greek statue standing by her doorway. The reason for all this stress standing right there looking all bashful and infuriatingly gorgeous. And for the hundredth time, Liu Qianqian let out a scoff.

“Oh, it’s you.”

“You said you didn’t eat, so ummm… I got you something to eat.”

Liu Qianqian picks up the stack of papers on her desk, shuffling it like a deck of cards and doing a wonderful job of pretending to be busy. “You deliver food now?”

“Hmmm. A good side gig other than being an idol.”

Don’t you dare smile for that cute dumbass charm, Liu Qianqian, you are better than that.

“You’re not expecting to get paid, are you?”

“I am.” Ning Ke starts taking out the Styrofoam boxes. “If I could have lunch here with you.”

Liu Qianqian answers with an eye roll, yet here she is, clearing the papers that she so neatly organized to the side just to make space.

*

“So, who are you scumming these days?” Ning Ke asks while she picks a barbequed beef and places it on Liu Qianqian’s bowl. The qianbei knew exactly what her question really meant.

“You have to be more specific than that. You meant today or yesterday or three days ago? Cause I have to check my schedule for that.”

Ning Ke scoffs while still putting more beef on her bowl, “Almost forty years old and still a scumbag.”

It was her turn to give her a good shove, earning a triumphant smirk from the SII co captain, “Not that you’re any better. I went to dinner with You Miao and Qiuru a few days ago, they were just telling me how you’re just collecting houbeis left and right these days.”

“What?” Ning Ke sounding more surprised.

She might have embellished the truth a bit. The two mentioned how Ning Ke is a great qianbei to the juniors, maybe too great, that some misunderstood her care as something more. But none of them seems to get close to what they wanted other than being that, just a junior.

Qiuru adds with a laugh, “But her new CP mate is special, I think she’s Keke’s favorite for a reason. Did you see her new CP mate?”

“No.” And she had no intentions too. Qiuru and You Miao exchange a cute laugh before the younger girl pulled out her phone and showed her favorite jiejie a picture of the girl. What was supposed to be a quick glance turned into a hard stare as the girl looks almost like-

“Xiao Peng said she looks like you.”

Her head snapped up quickly, and You Miao is quick to raise her hands in surrender. “Xiao Peng said it. Not me.”

“Xiao Peng and everyone in bilibili and weibo,” Qiuru pokes at the other girl. “And you told Ning Ke about it.”

“And what did that zhinan said?” Liu Qianqian said while taking a sip of her drink.

You Miao smiles softly, “That you’re so much more prettier.”

*

She just smiles at the memory, placing broccoli on Ning Ke’s bowl. “How many CPs do you have now?”

“I… I don’t know.” Ning Ke says, chewing her vegetable thoughtfully. “Only one? I think I have one.”

“One per team? One per generation? I see how it is, Keke qianbei.”

“I’m just following the footsteps of my favorite qianbei of being a scumbag.”

“Shut up.” She takes a bite of her meat, smirking a little too playfully at Ning Ke. “Go eat.” Liu Qianqian says stuffing another vegetable in Ning Ke’s mouth.

*

She’s falling fast again, and there’s no one to blame but Ning Ke.

Maybe Ning Ke had really grown up. She’s more confident now, the way she speaks, the way she acts that Liu Qianqian couldn’t help but just stare and listen. That confidence while still remaining so down to Earth is probably why all the houbeis are all over her now.

But what was turning her into an absolutely useless is how much Ning Ke just dotes on her. It’s not even huge, over the top gestures, it’s the little things like checking if she ate, sending her food, serving her food. It’s almost like having a lover but without the label and the whole intimacy thing. 

Yet, at the same time, she’s the one who could make her laugh and smile at the most ridiculous or mundane things.

It’s not like Ning Ke had to try hard either, which makes it all the more frustrating, just that smile and that playful gaze and Liu Qianqian had to look away as she feels her face heating up.

The texts and the sliding in her DMs from others hadn’t stop. But ever since Ning Ke came back, she doesn’t see the point of talking to all the others, when there’s only one who could make her feel this way.

But she’s much smarter now, this time she knows she needed to put on the brakes before she slams head first into another heartbreak. There’s one model who she had work with in one of the photoshoots, gorgeous, seductive and wouldn’t take no for an answer. She told Wenwen about it over coffee and she’s caught by surprise when Wenwen told her to go for it.

“Even though you and Ning Ke are practically dating but until you guys talk about it, you’re still basically just really, really good friends. It would be unfair to this girl but maybe this is the push that Ning Ke needs to finally say something.”

“What if she doesn’t push?” Liu Qianqian tried to still her voice, but couldn’t stop it from quaking.

I think you know the answer to that was all that Wenwen answered.

*

“I have gongyan tomorrow night, but I could come take you to dinner after.”

“It’s okay, I’m going out.”

Ning Ke looks at her, narrowing her eyes as if she just misheard what she said, “What?”

“I’m going out, Ning Ke.” She said in a firmer tone.

The younger girl sat up, those dark eyes clouded with an expression that Liu Qianqian hadn’t seen before, “With who? Xiaoma? Wenwen?”

“No. not them. I know other people too, you know?”

“Do I know this person?”

Liu Qianqian didn’t like the accusatory tone in Ning Ke’s voice, as if she’s about to do something illegal. Just like that, it felt like they’re back to where they had started, to arguments that could have been avoided if they just pause and listen instead of thinking before they speak. It must be a sign of maturity that she was able to hold those volatile words in before she explodes.

“No. But you probably see her posters around. She’s this model that I work with in one photoshoot.”

“Oh.” The fierce gaze that Ning Ke had earlier slowly faded into an almost look of fear.

“Yes. You can go out with whoever you want too. I’m not stopping you.”

“Okay. Have fun then.” Ning Ke said, but it kills Liu Qianqian how it sounds more like a goodbye.

“I will.”

*

Her date was gorgeous, seductive and took her to one of the most expensive restaurants in Shanghai. But all Liu Qianqian could think about that instant is it’s over.

No text, no call, no nothing from the younger girl since that horrid dinner. Gongyan should have ended an hour ago, and usually now she sends her a message, asking where she is and the line “did you eat?” but tonight there’s nothing.

She should already know how Ning Ke thinks, five years and if she thinks Ning Ke should have fought for her then, then she would have fought for her now. But it seems like nothing really change, she’s still not worth fighting for.

Her date invited her out for drinks at her place, but she knew better what drinks meant and had politely declined.

She got into her didi, with her heart feeling like it’s been trampled to the ground. She should have been resigned to her fate, whatever wishful thinking, fairy tale writer believed that they’ll have their happily ever after, clearly doesn’t know them.

As she steps down from her didi, what awaits her surprise her more than she thought. 

“Ning Ke?”

Sitting by the curb, in all black, hunched over her phone with a giant paperbag by her side.

“Hey. You’re here.”

“Yes. I kinda live here,” She glances over at the paper bag next to Ning Ke. “Are you delivering food again?”

“Hmmm… just to you.”

“You brought me food again?”

Ning Ke just nods slowly. “I don’t know where she took you. She’s a model so somewhere really expensive with those really pretty looking food that doesn’t fill you up. So, ummm… I got some noodles.”

Liu Qianqian raised her brow, “You’re trying to make me chunky?”

“I think a round Liu Qianqian is adorable.”

She gave her houbei a good shove. “You’re just saying that, but when I gain a few pounds, you’re gonna go over to that cute houbei of yours.”

“No. there’s only one.” Ning Ke says while she watches her as Liu Qianqian sat beside her, Ning Ke is quick to place her jacket to cover her qianbei’s legs.

She looked away, not wanting to falter for those stars filled gaze.

“H-how was your date?”

“It was good. She took me to this restaurant that I’ll probably won’t ever go. But they got pretty food.”

“Did you have pictures of the food?”

“What do you think of me? I have more class than that. But yup, I sure did.” She pulls out her phone and tilts her phone so they could look through the pictures. “So, what if I didn’t come home tonight? Are you going to be waiting here the whole time?”

Ning Ke winced as she felt the blow of those words. But she still managed to let out a smile to say, “It’s been five years, what’s a few hours more, right?”

Liu Qianqian opens her mouth but whatever words that she had hope to say was all lodge in the throat, refusing to come out.

“I want you to be happy, Qianqian that’s all I really want, but I’m just going to be selfish now and say that I want to be the one that makes you happy.”

Ning Ke stares into her eyes, her every word loud and clear in her gaze.

“If she makes you happy, then I’ll make you happier. If she took you to an expensive restaurant, I’ll take you too. But only once a month though, during payday.”

Liu Qianqian refused to give in to those sweet words and answered with a roll of her eyes.

“You cold, Liu Qianqian?”

“No.”

But Ning Ke might have some hearing issues as she pulled Liu Qianqian into her arms.

“Liu Qianqian…”

“Hmmm?” Her smile muffled as she burrows herself deeper in Ning Ke’s chest.

“The noodles are getting cold.”

Yes. She’s falling fast and there’s no one else to blame but herself.

*

She’s in Beijing for a weekend work trip, but Liu Qianqian can’t help think of a certain someone back in Shanghai. Ning Ke had wanted to take her to the airport but with gongyan that day, it would have been impossible. Xiao Ma with her more lax schedule went with her, saying she’s the best guide to her old turf. They stayed on speaker phone on their way to the airport, all four of them with Wenwen asking for souvenirs back but it was when Ning Ke told Xiao Ma, take care of Qianqian that made her feel like falling too fast.

It was only when she hears Wenwen and Xiao Ma’s squeals and Tai Tian Le’s where she got her composure back and playfully roll her eyes.

“You’re not gonna drink your coffee?” Xiao Ma asked, snapping Liu Qianqian out of her trance and from scrolling through her phone if that certain someone message her already.

“They forgot the creamer. And we’re already running late, so… What is it, Xiaoma?”

“I know someone who would rather be carrying all this than do Gongyan tonight.” Xiaoma teased, flashing that signature charming smirk she has. Before dropping the bunch of paper bags next to her, as they settle down in their hotel room.

Xiaoma still has that carefree, sunshiny smile but now it’s even brighter as she’s just enjoying the youth that she had lost during her years of being an idol.

“Are you seriously KYing me right now?”

“But we’re not idols anymore. So, is that still considered KY?”

She narrows her eyes playfully at the younger girl, “You’re lucky I like you.”

“Like me as much as you like-“

“KY….”

“What? As both your best friends, I’m just happy that we’re all hanging out together more. Though sometimes I wonder why I’m hardly invited when you guys go eat dinner or watch movie.”

Even Liu Qianqian has no response to that. It’s not like she and Ning Ke go out a lot together, not with both their ridiculous schedules, but somehow they find the time to at least talk to each other, even if it’s just a hi and good night.

She’s surprised on how it’s almost like they fell back into a routine. Messages of good morning and good night, random how are you’s and what are you doing in the middle of the day. When their schedule isn’t pack, they go grab dinner together or watch a movie. It’s like what Wenwen said when she mentioned that she and Ning Ke are hanging out more. Wenwen smiled and said, it’s like someone just press play again.

From sitting opposite each other, to next to each other, to now not even an inch space between them that to onlookers, they would look like two people in love. And maybe they weren’t wrong.

The coffee table shook, both their phones started begging for attention. Their former SII chatroom just blowing up like crazy. Jungu of course was the first one to spam the chat, not with words but with the girliest squeal.

Xiao Peng followed with TTLs, KDLS and crying memes.

The memes and the endless TTL’s started rolling in.

TianTian  
WTian. Because what’s sweeter than TTL? Wtian.

Yuan Yuzhen  
When’s the wedding?

Wenwen  
I better be maid of honor.

Xiaoai  
@dyx @lzy could be the flowergirls

“What happened? Did Duan Yixuan and Zengguo finally started dating?” Liu Qianqian teases, as she skims through her phone, but instead she heard Xiao Ma reacts with an,

“Ooooooyyyyyyy…” Her bestfriend just grins happily at her, “click the video.”

*

It was tonight’s MC1 gongyan, Qianqian almost forgot how dashing Ning Ke looks in their brand new SII uniform. But it’s useless because You Miao and Chen Yuzi are bullying her for scumming all the houbeis. Ning Ke even after all these years, still has that dumbass charm, completely unaware of the pretty juniors that are enamored by her.

The houbeis on stage, all playing along and nodding pitifully as they bullied their senior.

“Breaking hearts? What did I even do?” Ning Ke protested

“See? You don’t even know what you’re doing! A true sign of a scumbag!”

“Tell us now, Keke. Other than your white moonlight. Did you ever fall for someone?”

The scream of the crowd is almost deafening.

“White moonlight? Me? I don’t have one.”

“Are you sure? Everybody has one.” Chen Yuzi says. “Mine is Zengguo, maybe yours have even the same last name?”

The crowd goes even wilder at the truth that Chen Yuzi dropped. Ning Ke’s jaw falls to the ground after realizing who they are trying to talk about.

“Who? Oh her… no. she’s not my white moonlight.”

Even the confident SII captain You Miao was taken aback from that answer. But she wasn’t the only one, because even Liu Qianqian who was watching it felt something break when she heard that.

You Miao reading the awkwardness of the room is quick to try and diffuse the situation.

“Okay, you don’t have to talk anymore. You’re a scumbag let’s all agree to that.”

Unfortunately, Chen Yuzi has other plans, wanting to get to the bottom of this.

“Oh, if she’s not your white moonlight, then what is this qianbei to you then?”

And without hesitation, Ning Ke answered, “She’s my whole universe.”

The entire crowd went dead quiet for what felt like a good few seconds, before they erupted in the loudest cheer.

You Miao pats her in the shoulder, with a huge grin on her gorgeous face saying, “Finally, bro. finally.”

*

She couldn’t count how many people had sent her that clip in just the last hour. Former teammates with Jungu and Xiao Peng front and center, other SNH48 members and even some friends from Guangzhou.

But for some reason she hasn’t heard from her. No explanations as to what she meant by that. If she even really meant it at all. Xiao Ma being Xiao Ma kept her entertained by the hilarious clips in that gongyan, but somewhere in the back of her head, those words just plays repeatedly.

She’s my whole universe. She’s my whole universe.

She’s my whole universe…

“Hey. You ready to get dinner?”

They stepped out of the hotel, she looks up from across the hotel, and sees a figure stepping out of a didi, a figure that she could trace anywhere, with a heavy coat in her hand and a coffee cup in one.

“Oh. Ummm. You won’t mind if I skip this one, right?” Xiao Ma says with a smile.

“I thought you wanted dinner?” Liu Qianqian says with a smile.

“I lied. Bye Keke!!!!!” Xiao Ma yells out as she dashes to the opposite direction.

“Ummm bye? Oh Here.” Ning Ke shoves the coffee cup in her hand.

Liu Qianqian looks at the coffee cup and tries hard to process what had just happened. Her face in complete disbelief, from being turned into a coffee holder and for seeing Ning Ke right then, right in front of her.

“Where is she going?” Ning Ke finally reached them while quickly wrapping Liu Qianqian in a thick, soft winter coat. Her huge coat almost swallowing Liu Qianqian whole, but she didn’t mind, not when it felt like her embrace.

“She’s ditching us. What’s this?”

“That’s your drink.”

“What?”

“With creamer. You said you got black and they didn’t get you a creamer.”

Liu Qianqian let a little smile slip, “I’m okay.”

“Liar.” Ning Ke teases before nudging Liu Qianqian over. “I saw Xiao Peng and Jungu at it again with their KYing on the groupchat. Sorry I didn’t text, I couldn’t message on the flight.”

Liu Qianqian nods, her finger holding at the edge of Ning Ke’s winter coat as they started walking.

“Well, shouldn’t you be in Shanghai?”

Ning Ke just grins widely, “No. I think right here with you is just right.”

Liu Qianqian holds on to her to stop, tugging on her coat so she could look at her, “Cheesy. Are you going to explain what you said?”

“I… ummm… I ahhhh… Qianqian, I ummm… I guess ahhh,” Ning Ke pulls out her phone and Liu Qianqian narrows her eyes, until it dawn on her what Ning Ke is trying to do.

“Wait… did you write out your whole confession on your phone?”

Ning Ke blinks confusedly, “Ummm yes?”

Liu Qianqian closes her eyes, biting her lip to resist showing her smile. Once a zhinan, always a zhinan.

“Ning Ke. This isn’t a birthday message.”

“It took me two weeks to write this. I just want to say the right things.”

“I don’t want to hear the right things; I want to hear what you feel.”

“I just don’t want to mess up.” Ning Ke mumbled, her eyes lowered as she fiddles with her phone.

“You won’t.” Liu Qianqian took her hand and slowly lowers down her phone. “Now please try.”

Ning Ke slides her hand along Liu Qianqian’s arms, exhaled and began with, “I talk to Liu Lifei qianbei before.”

Liu Qianqian throws her head back in disbelief, “Oh my God, you’re really going to make me start smoking. Are you really going to start it this way? By Kying me?”

“No, no, just listen. It’s ummm… two years ago, I saw her during B50, she’s like the head of Guangzhou now. And all I could think of is that’s her, she’s the one Liu Qianqian will forever want, her white moonlight while you were my own white moonlight.”

“Hmmm…” Liu Qianqian softens up after hearing that confession, taking Ning Ke’s coat and slowly running her fingers along the seams. “and then?”

“And she ummm… she talked to me first, said hi and all. She told me Leilei, my partner for the dance reminded her of someone. Then, she said that you helped in Guangzhou with all this. She was seriously Kying me too, you know?”

“Everyone just Kying you, huh?”

“I didn’t say nothing, I didn’t know whether you’re staying there for good or you finally have her. But she mentioned that there’s a reason why you’re still in Shanghai. I asked her what and she said, I should ask you.”

Liu Qianqian plays with the zipper on Ning Ke’s coat, anything to avoid her gaze, “And then? Are you going to ask me?”

“No.” Ning Ke smoothens the jacket over Liu Qianqian, bundling her even tighter. “I’d rather just give you a reason to stay.”

“It took you two years.” She finally looks up, searching for an answer from Ning Ke’s expression.

“I have nothing to show you back then. I barely made it to top48, all of you guys just graduated and me and You Miao is trying to get the new SII together. I told myself when I see you, I want to be the one that you deserve.”

“I want you to do those things for you, not for me.”

Ning Ke draws another exhale, before she links their fingers together.

“I thought I grew up now too, you know? But now I’m with you again, I think what I said to you when I was 21 and until now hadn’t change. Liu Qianqian, if you give me another chance, I’ll accompany you wherever you go.”

And to that, Liu Qianqian has the same answer that she did from years before,

“Your words, okay?”

Ning Ke finally looks up, the way her eyes just sparkled, Liu Qianqian could only wish she could take a photo of it. But she should be okay, she doubts she’ll ever forget the way she looked.

“Hmmm…”

“What?”

“Come here…”

As much as Ning Ke’s action might appear rough and roguish at times, Liu Qianqian finds the ways she kiss to be the exact opposite. Ning Ke kisses like the way she dances, precise, passionate and how her body bends and shapes according to every beat. She smiles through their kiss, because even if it was their first, it felt like they have been in this kiss forever.

It might be five years late, but it was worth the wait.

They pulled away from their first kiss and the first thing that Ning Ke said along with that haughty smirk was,

“You’re my girlfriend now.”

Liu Qianqian could only groan, once a zhinan, always a zhinan.

“Oh my God, after you make me swoon with that speech. You’re still this unromantic zhinan. Did you even call a didi?”

“Ummm, hold on, I forgot-”

Ning Ke pulls out her phone, ready to call for a didi while Liu Qianqian just shakes her head, playfully rolling her eyes but she didn’t even bother hiding her smile. She turns to her girlfriend, Ning Ke catching her with a smile before taking a step closer.

Once again press their lips together in a tender, sweet kiss. A quick peck lingered longer than it should, that it was the honk of that didi driver that finally interrupted them.

“Where are you taking me on our first date, baobei?” Liu Qianqian teased.

“Only the best and most popular restaurant in all of Beijing.”

Liu Qianqian turn to her “Oh?”

“Yes. Have you heard of Haidilao?”

Liu Qianqian broke down in soft laughter, before lightly shoving the other girl.

*

Epilogue

She got out from her flight from Guangzhou at around two am, taking the criminally early red eye rather than sleeping in and taking a morning flight. She and Ning Ke have been together for months now, but there is no way she’s going to tell her that it’s because she can’t stand being apart from her for a few more hours longer.

Liu Qianqian felt being 31 seeping through her bones, exhausted from the flight, dragging her luggage with what little strength she had left. Yet, it all melted away when she sees her baobei by the passenger’s waiting area. Even if she’s covered in all black, she still could spot that vibe and stance from miles away. Her black Adidas cap did little to hide those furrowed brows with her full attention on her phone.

“Who is making my baobei mad at 2:20 in the morning?”

Ning Ke looks at her and she watches that fierce gaze turned into a tender look. The idol pulling her in for a quick kiss through both their masks.

Liu Qianqian remembered a sleepy confession Ning Ke told her a month ago, that she’s going to make up for five years that she should have been kissing her. Her baobei who panicked and crumbled to the floor when she gave her that backhug during team SII 7th anniversary, can now so openly give her a kiss. And she tells herself, everytime they pull away from a kiss, that it was so worth the wait.

But that wasn’t enough for Ning Ke as she pulled her close for an embrace, oblivious of the stragglers walking about and around their own little universe.

“What’s up with you?” Liu Qianqian’s smile and voice is muffled in Ning Ke’s jacket, as she still locked in her arms.

“Nothing.” Ning Ke press a kiss on top of her head.

Liu Qianqian playfully jabs her in the rib, “Now who is bothering you again?”

“Who else? That You Miao. I swear she’s so whipped.”

She smiles when she felt another kiss, this time a sweet peck on her temple while she wraps her arm around her shoulders.

“You told her that?”

“I sure did.”

“And what did she say?”

“She’s said, hey pot, I’m Kettle.”

She laughs once again. “Are you a kettle?”

She rolls her eyes at her, taking her luggage in one hand while her other arm is wrapped around her girlfriend’s shoulder. “C’mon, let’s go eat.”

*

After a quick dinner, and an hour long shower together, she’s glad to finally be back home, right in her bed and above all right in her arms. She was drifting off to sleep, pleased and sated, when she hears that soft whisper.

“Liu Qianqian?”

“Hmmm…” She hums while brushing her lips against her girl’s arm.

“If Liu Lifei and me fell into the water, who will you rescue first?”

Despite how sleepy she was, Liu Qianqian couldn’t help but grin from the question. She knew exactly where this question is coming from. She was hired by the Guangzhou branch to be their creative director for their upcoming album. Liu Lifei now one of the creative heads there took her out to dinner on her last night. Her used to be love and now one of her dearest friends just chuckling in amusement as she watches her on her phone as her Darling back in Shanghai is blowing it up with messages.

Starting with a cheesy, “Hi crush.” Followed by wink emoji.

It just got worse from there.

“Hi. What are you doing?”  
“Are you eating?”  
“Hi. I Love you.”  
“I miss you so much. Come back already.”

Messages that Ning Ke wouldn’t send or dare tell her if she’s still back in Shanghai.

“Liu Lifei of course.”

“What?” Ning Ke sounding like she’s about to bounce off the bed.

“Why would you even be in the water anyway? Especially if you’re scared of it?”

Her answer robbed Ning Ke of any sleep, looking at her with wide eyes, “W-well. It’s just a hypothetical question. Like what if we go on a cruise?”

“Why would I take you on a cruise when I know you’re scared of water? And on a same ship where Liu Lifei is in too?”

“Okay… okay…” Ning Ke plops back in bed in surrender. “Why do I feel like I’m getting scolded when I’m already drowning?”

“Serves you right. I’ll throw you a life vest though.”

“Liu Qianqian, always so romantic.”

“I know. Aren’t you lucky?” She nudges Ning Ke even closer, their smiles mirroring each other, their gazes identical as they both watch the universe unravel in each other’s eyes.

“The luckiest.” Ning Ke adds as she sweeps her in her arms, their laughter like a soft lullaby tonight.

She wished she could tell her 26 year old self that letting her go is both the hardest and best thing that she could have done.

She wished she could tell her 26 year old self that they still fight, over the simplest or the most useless things, but it’s always the making up that is the best part of it.

She wished she could her 26 year old self to not doubt how crazy Ning Ke is about her, that Ning Ke might not be one with the romantic confessions, but that cosmic gaze in her eyes and the way she shows it in her every action exceeds any sweet, sweet words.

She wished she could tell her 26 year old self about this. How just when she thought that rookie couldn’t get more handsome, it turns out she was so wrong. Because in rare days, when their schedules actually work and she wakes up next to Ning Ke, she swears she couldn’t look at anyone else.

She wished she could tell her 26 year old self that Ning Ke took her to her Ancestral home back in Sichuan. Where she took pictures of sunsets and the gaggles of geese, but it was when she pointed at an empty piece of land and said, “you could put your art studio there”, where she felt that this is it. She’s the one.

She wished she could tell her 26 year old self that her family adores Ning Ke. And her? She falls for Ning Ke even more, when she sees the way her girl is patiently helping her niece’s English homework and then took her nephew to the convenience store and spoiled him with Ultraman cards. So, when her niece asks if Ning Ke is going to stay forever now, she didn’t even hesitate a second and said yes.

She wished she could tell her 26 year old, to just hold on because what they have now is so worth the wait. 

She could tell herself that, but come to think of it, maybe not because really… what’s the fun in all of that?


End file.
